Written

{(set: $round to 1) (set: $die1 to 0) (set: $die2 to 0) (set: $die3 to 0) (set: $die4 to 0) (set: $die5 to 0) (set: $die6 to 0) (set: $die7 to 0) (set: $die8 to 0) (set: $die9 to 0) (set: $die10 to 0) (set: $dice to (random:1,6)) }(put: (prompt: "I mean, obviously, I know your name. You're me. Or I'm you. It's just, I need you to type it here (without typos this time--you know what I'm talking about) ") into $name) (if: $name is "")[ (put: "_____" into $name) ] [[Okay, $name, deep breath.->Click Me]]

You know how you got here, $name. The same way anyone gets here. Poor choices. You're a smart enough person. In fact, you really could have done something with your life had you chosen differently. Something powerful. Not that you've been an entirely unproductive human being. Not like you've never amounted to //anything//, but if you had dedicated your intellect and energy to something else, something other than works of fiction, works of self-indulgence-- Well. You wouldn't be here. Running out of time, with nothing but a handful of half-baked ideas. At this point it doesn't even matter what you start with. It just matters that you start. (if: $dice is 1)[ [[ Alright let's start. ->1]] ]{ }(if: $dice is 2)[ [[ Alright let's start. ->2]] ]{ }(if: $dice is 3)[ [[ Alright let's start. ->3]] ]{ }(if: $dice is 4)[ [[ Alright let's start. ->3]] ]{ }(if: $dice is 5)[ [[ Alright let's start. ->5]] ]{ }(if: $dice is 6)[ [[ Alright let's start. ->6]] ]{ }

{ (set: $die1 to 1) (set:$c1 to 1) (put: (prompt: "What is the name of your female protagonist?") into $pname1) (if: $pname1 is "")[ (put: "_____" into $pname1) ] (put: (prompt: "What are you going to call her (male) love interest?") into $lname1) (if: $lname1 is "")[ (put: "_____" into $lname1) ] (put: (prompt: "What single word is the best way to describe someone who is on the very brink of death") into $dword) (if: $dword is "")[ (put: "_____" into $dword) ] }|typed-speed1-delay20>[     $pname1 knew, as soon as she saw $lname1, that he was hers. He was broken, hunched in a corner of the bakery, $dword, his body language that of a stray dog that has lost its bravado.      $lname1 started when he saw her, recoiled actually, so $pname1 sat across from him, her chin up, her back straight, like she was the headmistress of a boarding school, like she was going to teach a new generation of young girls that they, too, could frighten $dword boys with merely their presence, and she said to him,] (live: 27s)[(transition: "dissolve")[Well, shit. What did she say?](stop:)] (live: 28s)[(transition: "dissolve")[][[Something about his broken state]].(stop:)] (live: 29s)[(transition: "dissolve")[][[Something about his choice of baked goods]].(stop:)] (live: 30s)[(transition: "dissolve")[][[Something about destiny, and how it is beyond him]].(stop:)] (live: 31s)[(transition: "dissolve")[][[Absolutely nothing. She sat in stony silence.->Absolutely nothing. She sits in stony silence]](stop:)]

{(set: $die2 to 2) (set:$c2 to 1) (put: (prompt: "What is the name of your protagonist?") into $pname2) (if: $pname2 is "")[ (put: "_____" into $pname2) ] }(if:$c10 is 1)[No, wait, we already did this]|typed>[Once, there lived in a small village an old woman named] (live: 2s)[(transition: "dissolve")[](put: (prompt: "Oops, crap. What is the grandmother's name?") into $gma2) (if: $gma2 is "")[ (put: "_____" into $gma2) ] (stop:)] (live:5s)[(goto: "22")(stop:)] (live:6s)[(transition: "dissolve")[][[22]](stop:)]

{(set: $die3 to 3) (set:$c3 to 1) (put: (prompt: "This is going to be the greatest story you've ever written. So: what's the first sentence?") into $sentence31) (if: $sentence31 is "")[ (put: "_____" into $sentence31) ] } (live:1s)[(goto: "32")(stop:)] (live:2s)[(transition: "dissolve")[][[32]](stop:)]

{(set: $die4 to 4) (set:$c4 to 1)(set: $round to $round + 1) }|typed-speed1>[Come on, $name, I told you not to click this. Don't you believe in privacy?] (live:4s)[ [[I'm sorry]]. (stop:)]

{(set: $die5 to 5) (set:$c5 to 1) }|typed-speed2>[You're gonna like this (you may need to scroll):] <img src="https://alwayscrashing.neocities.org/written/play1.jpg" alt="outside"> [[Wow. That's beautiful]].

{(set: $die6 to 6) (set:$c6 to 1) (put: (prompt: "The FIRST name of a person.") into $pname6F) (if: $pname6F is "")[ (put: "_____" into $pname6F) ] (put: (prompt: "The MIDDLE name of a person.") into $pname6M) (if: $pname6M is "")[ (put: "_____" into $pname6M) ] (put: (prompt: "The LAST name of a person.") into $pname6L) (if: $pname6L is "")[ (put: "_____" into $pname6L) ] (put: (prompt: "The name of a literary journal.") into $journal) (if: $journal is "")[ (put: "_____" into $journal) ] (put: (prompt: "The name of an author who has been sued for plagiarism. Or at least the name of a popular author that you read, but loathe.") into $Author6) (if: $Author6 is "")[ (put: "_____" into $Author6) ] (put: (prompt: "The name of one of the above author's books.") into $book6) (if: $book6 is "")[ (put: "_____" into $book6) ] }|typed-speed1>[     You come up with an idea. You will write a parody of a popular author you can't stop reading. One who you also hate. $Author6. Sure, the writing is terrible, but you keep coming back to them. There is something in the work. You will exerpt a small portion of their work, and swap out the pronouns. It is bad literature madlibs, overtly pointing to the ridiculousness of the work, but letting, for large parts, the prose hang itself.      You write it up and send it off. It gets accepted by $journal. You work back and forth with your editor on revisions. You are excited about the work.      Then you receive an email from the person in charge of publishing. $pname6F $pname6M $pname6L. It reads: "I'm writing in my capacity as faculty editor of $journal to address the overlaps between segments of your "Written" and the work of $Author6. Our concern is that the texts are a smidgeon too similar to evade infringement issues. We'd be comfortable with a clear allusion to //$book6//, but the text (as it stands) repeats exchanges in dialogue, for example, verbatim. Would you be willing to alter your approach to these passages? If so, we'd need this to happen fairly quickly. We plan to soft launch the issue by Monday. Thanks in advance for your quick reply. $pname6F Dr. $pname6F $pname6M $pname6L"      You mull it over. How to respond? You write back quickly. "I'm certainly willing to make changes, though the reproduction of $author is an important part of this. Partly as an act of decontextualiztion, and recontextualization, as one might see from someone like Kenneth Goldsmith, or, in a different light, from Jen Bervin, or in the spirit of Jonatham Letham--it is also a specific play on $author's accusation of plagiarism in their most popular novel. As well, there is the aspect of parody that comes from giving a tonal shift to the original writing. For this, it is absolutely necessary to appropriate sections of the opening pages of the book, re-written by the player/reader, and given complete acknowledgement within the text itself. I wonder what kind of an amelioration would be best? I could give more prompts to the reader, so that larger sections of the text are word-replaced. I could reduce the section from 1,000 words to 400 by omitting certain sections? Or perhaps I could insert the word banana every 5 words? (I recognize that this last one might sound flip, but I do mean it in all seriousness). In other words, I recognize that there is a fear attached to parodic re-presentation of work that I'm engaged in, and that even though the work squarely falls on the side of fair use-- the small excerpt, which is a small part of the overall work, both being parodied, AND transformed (literally), there is still a fear of rote legal action, and I'm hoping to find a way that preserves the artistic intent of the piece, while avoiding any form of possible reprisal. Sorry to kick this back to you, but hopefully this has a fairly quick and easy resolution."      You're not sure of how to resolve this, but it can't be that hard. You begin reworking things to dramatically decrease any accusations of infringement. Your goal is to make a point, not harm a literary journal. Your goal is to ease the mind of the editor. you decide to delete the section after all, and will instead replace it with this, this exchange, and explination of what is going on. After working for hours you fall asleep. In the morning, you have your response. "Thanks for getting back to me so quickly on this. I respect your wishes to preserve your artistic intent and I fear that any solution we might (as a university-affiliated publication) be required to propose would seriously compromise your vision for the piece. So, it is with much regret and chagrin that I must withdraw $journal's intent to publish "Written." I apologize for any inconvenience this may cause you and I wish you the best of luck with placing this exceptional experimental piece elsewhere. Warmly, $pname6F Dr. $pname6F $pname6M $pname6L      What did you expect? Did you expect them to work with you? Did you expect them to find a way to make your piece work?] [[Really? You are a fool then.->Begin]]

{(set: $die10 to 10) (set:$c10 to 1) (put: (prompt: "What is the name of your protagonist?") into $pname10) (if: $pname10 is "")[ (put: "_____" into $pname10) ] }(if:$c2 is 1)[No, wait, we already did this.]|typed>[Once, there lived in a small village an old woman named] (live: 2s)[(transition: "dissolve")[](put: (prompt: "Oops, crap. What is the grandmother's name?") into $gma10) (if: $gma10 is "")[ (put: "_____" into $gma10) ] (stop:)] (live:5s)[(goto: "102")(stop:)] (live:6s)[(transition: "dissolve")[][[102]](stop:)]

(put: (prompt: "Enough fooling around. The deadline is here, what is your story?") into $whole) (if: $whole is "")[ (put: "_____" into $whole) ] |typed-speed1>[$whole] (live: 4s)[(transition: "dissolve")[And that was it. That was everything you managed in all this time. Everything else was false starts.](stop:)] (live: 8s)[(transition: "dissolve")[It's fine. We all fail sometimes. And there will always be our friend, waiting for us.](stop:)] (live:14s)[(goto:"Start")]

{(set: $round to $round + 1) (if: $c1 + $c2 + $c3 + $c4 + $c5 + $c6 + $c10 is 5)[You thought you had more time, didn't you?|typed-speed1-delay500>[I thought I had more time too.] (live:4s)[(goto: "end")(stop:)] (live:5s)[(transition: "dissolve")[][[end]](stop:)]] } (else:)[{ }{ (set: $sresponse to(either:"That was really pathetic.I'm sorry, but that's the only way to say it." , "This is just another way you are a failure.I'm sorry, it's true." , "At this point, it's almost sad that you keep trying.Keep it up, faithful little dog." , "An adaptation, especially for you:Ever tried. Ever failed. Try again. Fail again. Fail again. Fail again." , "I mean, fuck, really?There's no way it can get worse than that, right?")) }(either:"Damnit. No. That isn't going to work. It's garbage." , "Fuck, no. Ugh." , "Nope, nope, nope." , "You're smarter than this, $name." , "$name, you should be embarrassed by this kind of output." , "Remember when you said that you were stupid, and your mom ducked her eyes for a second. Do you remember that, $name?") |typed-delay80>[$sresponse ]] [[Try Again->Try Again]]

(if: $c1 + $c2 + $c3 + $c4 + $c5 + $c6 + $c10 is 5)[You thought you had more time, didn't you?|typed-speed1-delay500>[I thought I had more time too.] (live:4s)[(goto: "end")(stop:)](live:5s)[(transition: "dissolve")[][[end]](stop:)]](else:)[(if: $die1 is 0)[ [[She knew as soon as she saw him, that he was hers: he was broken->1]]. ](if: $die1 is 1)[<strike>She knew as soon as she saw him, that he was hers: he was broken.</strike>] (if: $die2 is 0)[ [[A dead grandmother still dedicated to genealogy.->2]] ](if: $die2 is 2)[<strike>A dead grandmother still dedicated to genealogy.</strike>] (if: $die3 is 0)[ [[Possibly the greatest story that has ever been written.->3]] ](if: $die3 is 3)[<strike>Possibly the greatest story that has ever been written. Not really.</strike>] (if: $die4 is 0)[ [[Click any link OTHER THAN THIS ONE->4]]. ](if: $die4 is 4)[<strike>Jerk.</strike>] (if: $die5 is 0)[ [[How about something pretty?->5]] ](if: $die5 is 5)[<strike>Story 1.</strike>] (if: $die6 is 0)[ [[Story 6 will go here->6]]. ](if: $die6 is 6)[<strike>Story 1.</strike>] (if: $die10 is 0)[ [[Necromancy as the means to solving familial curiosities->10]]. ](if: $die10 is 10)[<strike>Necromancy as the means to solving familial curiosities.</strike>] ]

     $pname1 knew, as soon as she saw $lname1, that he was hers. He was broken, hunched in a corner of the bakery, $dword, his body the language of a stray dog that has lost its bravado.      $lname1 started when he saw her, recoiled actually, so $pname1 sat across from him, her chin up, her back straight, like she was the headmistress of a boarding school, like she was going to teach a new generation of young girls that they too could frighten $dword boys with merely their presence. |typed-speed1>[     "People like you," $pname1 said, "have an idea of the world. That if they work hard they will reap some sort of rewards. This is fine and good, but where is destiny in this equation? Nowhere. It is beyond you, a thing that is forgotten about, or treated as if it doesn't exist. Destiny gets relegated to happenstance, instead of being the driving force in your life, the thing that is always ready to T-bone you in the intersection, or put a beautiful woman at your table while you desperately try and put together words in your mouth."] (live: 25s)[(goto: "destiny2")(stop:)] (live: 26s)[(transition: "dissolve")[][[destiny2]](stop:)]

     $pname1 knew, as soon as she saw $lname1, that he was hers. He was broken, hunched in a corner of the bakery, $dword, his body the language of a stray dog that has lost its bravado.      $lname1 started when he saw her, recoiled actually, so $pname1 sat across from him, her chin up, her back straight, like she was the headmistress of a boarding school, like she was going to teach a new generation of young girls that they too could frighten $dword boys with merely their presence.      "You look like the 'before' photo in a pickup artist's brochure," $pname1 said.      $lname1 smiled a little, recoiled a little, wounded and captured and ready for more. |typed-speed1>[     $pname1 gave him a look that would have withered a cockroach, full of the utter emptiness that comes from a stranger's insult and then abject dismissal, as if $lname1 were a dead object that had displeased her and then disappeared.      He stood up and discarded the rest of his half-eaten pastry on his way out, while $pname1 considered his empty seat across from her and waited for her order to be called.] (live: 20s)[(transition: "dissolve")[][[Jesus. H. Christ. Where did that come from? Doesn't $pname1 feel anything like guilt? Don't you? Fix this.->Empty]](stop:)] (live: 21s)[(transition: "dissolve")[][[//Mean Girls Three: We're Still Making These?// This story has worn out its welcome.->Begin]](stop:)]

     $pname1 knew, as soon as she saw $lname1, that he was hers. He was broken, hunched in a corner of the bakery, $dword, his body the language of a stray dog that has lost its bravado.      $lname1 started when he saw her, recoiled actually, so $pname1 sat across from him, her chin up, her back straight, like she was the headmistress of a boarding school, like she was going to teach a new generation of young girls that they too could frighten $dword boys with merely their presence.      "You look like the 'before' photo in a pickup artist's brochure," $pname1 said.      $lname1 smiled a little, recoiled a little, wounded and captured and ready for more.      $pname1 gave him a look that would have withered a cockroach, full of the utter emptiness that comes from a stranger's insult and then abject dismissal, as if $lname1 were a dead object that had displeased her and then disappeared.      He stood up and discarded the rest of his half-eaten pastry on his way out, while $pname1 considered his empty seat across from her and waited for her order to be called. |typed-speed1>[     $pname1 took her time with her latte and her almond croissant. She ran her finger over the plate to gather the flaked crumbs of pastry that had escaped and let her eyes glaze over as she stared out of the bakery window.      On her way out, $pname1 paused, pulled out a five dollar bill, and slid it into the tip jar. As if that solved anything.] (live: 19s)[(transition: "dissolve")[There, she did something nice. Are you done yet?][[ Yeah, let's get out of this.->Begin]](stop:)]

     $pname1 knew, as soon as she saw $lname1, that he was hers. He was broken, hunched in a corner of the bakery, $dword, his body the language of a stray dog that has lost its bravado.      $lname1 started when he saw her, recoiled actually, so $pname1 sat across from him, her chin up, her back straight, like she was the headmistress of a boarding school, like she was going to teach a new generation of young girls that they too could frighten $dword boys with merely their presence.      $pname1 picked up his kouign amann and took a bite of it. She let her eyes close a second as she savored the viennoiserie, the hard crunch of the carmelized butter and sugar. The bakery was a good one. "Good choice," she said. |typed-speed1-delay10>[     $lname1 just stared at her. He stared so long she decided it was essentially rude of her to stop. She picked up the pastry and ate the whole thing, taking slow bites, savoring it, performing for the stunned man seated across from her. When she finished, she touched his forearm, briefly, and told him she would see him again, tomorrow at the same time. She was sure he'd come.] (live: 19s)[(transition: "dissolve")[][[That's something, right?->Begin]](stop:)]

     $pname1 knew, as soon as she saw $lname1, that he was hers. He was broken, hunched in a corner of the bakery, $dword, his body the language of a stray dog that has lost its bravado.      $lname1 started when he saw her, recoiled actually, so $pname1 sat across from him, her chin up, her back straight, like she was the headmistress of a boarding school, like she was going to teach a new generation of young girls that they too could frighten $dword boys with merely their presence.      $pname1 picked up his kouign amann and took a bite of it. She let her eyes close a second as she savored the viennoiserie, the hard crunch of the carmelized butter and sugar. The bakery was good. "Good choice," she said. |typed-speed1-delay10>[     "Oh, I'm sorry," $pname1 said to $lname1, "were you not finished with that?"      "I, uh," he said.      "I thought so," she told him. "Well, it's very good."      And with that, she stood up and walked out. $lname1 was left to only hope that he would see her again.] (live: 14s)[(transition: "dissolve")[][[This reads like a romantic comedy, and the world probably doesn't need another one of those.->Begin]](stop:)]

     $pname1 knew, as soon as she saw $lname1, that he was hers. He was broken, hunched in a corner of the bakery, $dword, his body the language of a stray dog that has lost its bravado.      $lname1 started when he saw her, recoiled actually, so $pname1 sat across from him, her chin up, her back straight, like she was the headmistress of a boarding school, like she was going to teach a new generation of young girls that they too could frighten $dword boys with merely their presence.      "People like you," $pname1 said, "have an idea of the world. That if they work hard they will reap some sort of rewards. This is fine and good, but where is destiny in this equation? Nowhere. It is beyond you, a thing that is forgotten about, or treated as if it doesn't exist. Destiny gets relegated to happenstance, instead of being the driving force in your life, the thing that is always ready to T-bone you in the intersection, or put a beautiful woman at your table while you desperately try and put together words in your mouth." |typed-speed1>[     Of course, $name was flummoxed and couldn't think of what to do. How do you deal with destiny? What hope do you have of handling something of that cosmic magnitude?] (live: 11s)[(transition: "dissolve")[][[That's easy, actually.]](stop:)] (live: 12s)[(transition: "dissolve")[][[Destiny is a stripper's name.]](stop:)] (live: 13s)[(transition: "dissolve")[][[Why did you say my name?]](stop:)] (live: 14s)[(transition: "dissolve")[](goto: "Begin")(stop:)]

|typed>[You're not supposed to be here.] (live: 13s)[(goto: "Begin")(stop:)] (live:14s)[(transition: "dissolve")[][[Begin]](stop:)]

{(set: $her2 to "her") (set:$hers2 to "hers") (set:$she2 to "she") }Okay. (live:2s)[(transition: "dissolve")[Crap.](stop:)] (live:3s)[(transition: "dissolve")[Sorry.](stop:)] (live:5s)[(transition: "dissolve")[I've got it this time.](stop:)] (if:$c10 is 1)[(live:2s)[(transition: "dissolve")[This.](stop:)] (live:3s)[(transition: "dissolve")[Is.](stop:)] (live:5s)[(transition: "dissolve")[So fucking tedious.](stop:)]] (live:7s)[(transition: "dissolve")[Deep Breath.](stop:)] (live:9s)[(transition: "dissolve")[Hoo.](stop:)] (live:10s)[(goto: "25")(stop:)] (live:11s)[(transition: "dissolve")[][[25]](stop:)]

{(set: $her2 to "him") (set:$hers2 to "his") (set:$she2 to "he") }Okay. (live:2s)[(transition: "dissolve")[Crap.](stop:)] (live:3s)[(transition: "dissolve")[Sorry.](stop:)] (live:5s)[(transition: "dissolve")[I've got it this time.](stop:)] (if:$c10 is 1)[(live:2s)[(transition: "dissolve")[This.](stop:)] (live:3s)[(transition: "dissolve")[Is.](stop:)] (live:5s)[(transition: "dissolve")[So fucking tedious.](stop:)]] (live:7s)[(transition: "dissolve")[Deep Breath.](stop:)] (live:9s)[(transition: "dissolve")[Hoo.](stop:)] (live:10s)[(goto: "25")(stop:)] (live:11s)[(transition: "dissolve")[][[25]](stop:)]

Okay, let's try again. (if:$c10 is 1)[No, no, we already did this. Please stop. Let's not do it again] |typed-speed1-delay800>[     Once, there lived in a small village an old woman named $gma2. She was an acerbic and demanding matriarch, but she was also funny, and kind to those she loved best. $gma2 was dubbed by six year old $pname2 with the adorable nickname of] (live: 10s)[(transition: "dissolve")[](put: (prompt: "Darnit, what's the cute nickname?") into $meema2) (if: $meema2 is "")[ (put: "_____" into $meema2) ] (stop:)] (live:11s)[(goto: "23")(stop:)] (live:12s)[(transition: "dissolve")[][[23]](stop:)]

It's fine, I have it this time. (if:$c10 is 1)[No, we already know that isn't true.] |typed-speed1-delay800>[     Once, there lived in a small village an old woman named $gma2. She was an acerbic and demanding matriarch, but she was also funny, and kind to those she loved best. $gma2 was dubbed by six year old $pname2 with the adorable nickname of $meema2. Sadly, when $pname2 was only 13, $meema2 died.] (live: 14s)[(put: (prompt: "How dead is the grandmother? Think of a sliding scale that starts around mostly dead, pauses briefly at rotting, and ends somewhere around bonemeal.") into $dword2) (if: $dword2 is "")[ (put: "_____" into $dword2) ] (stop:)] (live:15s)[(goto: "24")(stop:)] (live:16s)[(transition: "dissolve")[][[24]](stop:)]

(if:$c10 is 1)[Please stop.]|typed-speed1-delay80>[      Not that it mattered all that much. Even though $dword2, $meema2 was always willing and able to give advice through stories of the family's history.] (if:$c10 is 1)[Please. I won't tell anyone. We can just go back to the beginning.] (live: 7s)[(transition: "dissolve")[Oh, crap. I forgot. Is your protagonist male or female?](stop:)] (live: 8s)[(transition: "dissolve")[][[Female]](stop:)] (live: 9s)[(transition: "dissolve")[][[Male]](stop:)]

(if:$c10 is 1)[Please]|typed-speed1>[     Once, there lived in a small village an old woman named $gma2. She was an acerbic and demanding matriarch, but she was also funny, and kind to those she loved best. When $she2 was six, $pname2 dubbed $gma2 "$meema2". The name stuck. Sadly, when $pname2 was only 13, $meema2 died.      Not that death mattered all that much. Even though $dword2, $meema2 was always willing and able to give advice through stories of the family's history.      It only worked with history, though. Little $pname2 couldn't ask about $her2 current dating prospects, or when $she2 might hope for them to change. Nor could $she2 ask if a life of happiness would be $hers2. $pname2 //could// ask $meema2 about the family's history with dating, or of how people had achieved happiness. All $she2 had to do was perform the ritual.] (if:$c10 is 1)[please stop] (live: 34s)[(transition: "dissolve")[](put: (prompt: "Fuck. The ritual. Right. Yes. I remember this, but if you could put it into, let's say, a succinct sentence that doesn't rely on the sentence before it for context, and describes in detail what the family members would do to summon the grandmother, that would be fantastic.") into $ritual2) (if: $ritual2 is "")[ (put: "_____" into $ritual2) ] (stop:)] (live:35s)[(goto:"26")(stop:)] (live:36s)[(transition: "dissolve")[][[26]](stop:)]

(if:$c10 is 1)[Well,]|typed>[The ritual was easy. All they had to do was $ritual.] (if:$c10 is 1)[At least we're almost done] (live:6s)[(transition: "dissolve")[Fuck.](stop:)] (live:8s)[(transition: "dissolve")[I saw it.](stop:)] (live:9s)[(transition: "dissolve")[I know.](stop:)] (live:10s)[(transition: "dissolve")[I forgot to transition the ritual properly.](stop:)] (live:12s)[(transition: "dissolve")[][[fuck everything.->Begin]](stop:)] (live:13s)[(transition: "dissolve")[][[It's an easy fix.]](stop:)]

(if:$c10 is 1)[finally ][[You know what else is an easy fix?->Begin]]

Okay, let's try again. (if:$c2 is 1)[No, no, we already did this. Please stop. Let's not do it again] |typed-speed1-delay800>[     Once, there lived in a small village an old woman named $gma10. She was an acerbic and demanding matriarch, but she was also funny, and kind to those she loved best. $gma10 was dubbed by six year old $pname10 with the adorable nickname of] (live: 10s)[(transition: "dissolve")[](put: (prompt: "Darnit, what's the cute nickname?") into $meema10) (if: $meema10 is "")[ (put: "_____" into $meema10) ] (stop:)] (live:11s)[(goto:"103")(stop:)] (live:12s)[(transition:"dissolve")[][[103]](stop:)]

It's fine, I have it this time. (if:$c2 is 1)[No, we already know that isn't true.] |typed-speed1-delay800>[     Once, there lived in a small village an old woman named $gma10. She was an acerbic and demanding matriarch, but she was also funny, and kind to those she loved best. $gma10 was dubbed by six year old $pname10 with the adorable nickname of $meema10. Sadly, when $pname10 was only 13, $meema10 died.] (live: 14s)[(put: (prompt: "How dead is the grandmother? Think of a sliding scale that starts around mostly dead, pauses briefly at rotting, and ends somewhere around bonemeal.") into $dword10) (if: $dword10 is "")[ (put: "_____" into $dword10) ] (stop:)] (live:15s)[(goto:"104")(stop:)] (live:16s)[(transition:"dissolve")[][[104]](stop:)]

(if:$c2 is 1)[Please stop]|typed-speed1-delay80>[      Not that it mattered all that much. Even though $dword10, $meema10 was always willing and able to give advice through stories of the family's history. ] (if:$c2 is 1)[Please. I won't tell anyone. We can just go back to the beginning] (live: 7s)[(transition: "dissolve")[Oh, crap, I forgot. Is your protagonist male or female?](stop:)] (live: 8s)[(transition: "dissolve")[][[Female->Female10]](stop:)] (live: 9s)[(transition: "dissolve")[][[Male->Male10]](stop:)]

{(set: $her10 to "her") (set:$hers10 to "hers") (set:$she10 to "she") }Okay. (live:2s)[(transition: "dissolve")[Crap.](stop:)] (live:3s)[(transition: "dissolve")[Sorry.](stop:)] (live:5s)[(transition: "dissolve")[I've got it this time.](stop:)] (if:$c2 is 1)[(live:2s)[(transition: "dissolve")[This.](stop:)] (live:3s)[(transition: "dissolve")[Is.](stop:)] (live:5s)[(transition: "dissolve")[So fucking tedious.](stop:)]] (live:7s)[(transition: "dissolve")[Deep Breath.](stop:)] (live:9s)[(transition: "dissolve")[Hoo.](stop:)] (live:10s)[(goto:"105")(stop:)] (live:11s)[(transition:"dissolve")[][[105]](stop:)]

{(set: $her10 to "him") (set:$hers10 to "his") (set:$she10 to "he") }Okay. (live:2s)[(transition: "dissolve")[Crap.](stop:)] (live:3s)[(transition: "dissolve")[Sorry.](stop:)] (live:5s)[(transition: "dissolve")[I've got it this time.](stop:)] (if:$c2 is 1)[(live:2s)[(transition: "dissolve")[This.](stop:)] (live:3s)[(transition: "dissolve")[Is.](stop:)] (live:5s)[(transition: "dissolve")[So fucking tedious.](stop:)]] (live:7s)[(transition:"dissolve")[Deep Breath.](stop:)] (live:9s)[(transition:"dissolve")[Hoo.](stop:)] (live:10s)[(goto:"105")(stop:)] (live:11s)[(transition:"dissolve")[][[105]](stop:)]

(if:$c2 is 1)[Please]|typed-speed1>[     Once, there lived in a small village an old woman named $gma10. She was an acerbic and demanding matriarch, but she was also funny, and kind to those she loved best. When $she10 was six, $pname10 dubbed $gma10 "$meema10". The name stuck. Sadly, when $pname10 was only 13, $meema10 died.      Not that death mattered all that much. Even though $dword10, $meema10 was always willing and able to give advice through stories of the family's history.      It only worked with history though. Little $pname10 couldn't ask about $her10 current dating prospects, or when $she10 might hope for that to change. Nor could $she10 ask if a life of happiness would be $hers10. $pname10 //could// ask $meema10 about the family's history with dating, or of how people had achieved happiness. All $she10 had to do was perform the ritual.] (if:$c2 is 1)[please stop] (live: 34s)[(transition: "dissolve")[](put: (prompt: "Fuck. The ritual. Right. Yes. I remember this, but if you could put it into, let's say, a succinct sentence that doesn't rely on the sentence before it for context, and describes in detail what the family members would do to summon the grandmother, that would be fantastic.") into $ritual10) (if: $ritual10 is "")[ (put: "_____" into $ritual10) ] (stop:)] (live:35s)[(goto:"106")(stop:)] (live:36s)[(transition: "dissolve")[][[106]](stop:)]

(if:$c2 is 1)[Well,]|typed>[The ritual was easy. All they had to do was $ritual10.] (if:$c2 is 1)[at least we're almost done] (live:6s)[(transition: "dissolve")[Fuck.](stop:)] (live:8s)[(transition: "dissolve")[I saw it.](stop:)] (live:9s)[(transition: "dissolve")[I know.](stop:)] (live:10s)[(transition: "dissolve")[I forgot to transition the ritual properly.](stop:)] (live:12s)[(transition: "dissolve")[][[fuck everything.->Begin]](stop:)] (live:13s)[(transition: "dissolve")[][[It's an easy fix.->It's an easy fix10]](stop:)]

(if:$c2 is 1)[finally ][[You know what else is an easy fix?->Begin]]

(live:1s)[     $sentence31] (live: 6s)[(put: (prompt: "Great! Now, the second sentence please.") into $sentence32) (if: $sentence32 is "")[ (put: "_____" into $sentence32) ] (stop:)] (live:7s)[(goto: "33")(stop:)] (live:8s)[(transition: "dissolve")[][[33]](stop:)]

(live:1s)[     $sentence31 $sentence32] (live: 6s)[(put: (prompt: "Great! Now, the next sentence please.") into $sentence33) (if: $sentence33 is "")[ (put: "_____" into $sentence33) ] (stop:)] (live:7s)[(goto: "34")(stop:)] (live:8s)[(transition: "dissolve")[][[34]](stop:)]

(live:1s)[     $sentence31 $sentence32 $sentence33] (live: 6s)[(put: (prompt: "Keep it up! Next sentence! Oh, and if you ever want to start a new paragraph, just put in '      ', without the quotation marks, and it will start and indent a new paragraph for you. Easy!") into $sentence34) (if: $sentence34 is "")[ (put: "_____" into $sentence34) ] (stop:)] (live:7s)[(goto: "35")(stop:)] (live:8s)[(transition: "dissolve")[][[35]](stop:)]

(live:1s)[     $sentence31 $sentence32 $sentence33 $sentence34] (live: 6s)[(put: (prompt: "Keep it up! And remember, to start a new paragraph, put '      ', without the quotation marks") into $sentence35) (if: $sentence35 is "")[ (put: "_____" into $sentence35) ] (stop:)] (live:7s)[(goto: "36")(stop:)] (live:8s)[(transition: "dissolve")[][[36]](stop:)]

Keep going? [[Yes, please]] [[Oh god no. I couldn't write another sentence. Please let this stop.->Begin]]

(live:1s)[     $sentence31 $sentence32 $sentence33 $sentence34 $sentence35] (live: 6s)[(put: (prompt: "Keep it up! And remember, to start a new paragraph, put '      ', without the quotation marks") into $sentence36) (if: $sentence36 is "")[ (put: "_____" into $sentence36) ] (stop:)] (live:7s)[(goto: "37")(stop:)] (live:8s)[(transition: "dissolve")[][[37]](stop:)]

(live:1s)[     $sentence31 $sentence32 $sentence33 $sentence34 $sentence35 $sentence36] (live: 6s)[(put: (prompt: "Keep it up! And remember, to start a new paragraph, put '      ', without the quotation marks") into $sentence37) (if: $sentence37 is "")[ (put: "_____" into $sentence37) ] (stop:)] (live:7s)[(goto: "38")(stop:)] (live:8s)[(transition: "dissolve")[][[38]](stop:)]

(live:1s)[     $sentence31 $sentence32 $sentence33 $sentence34 $sentence35 $sentence36 $sentence37] (live: 6s)[(put: (prompt: "Keep it up! And remember, to start a new paragraph, put '      ', without the quotation marks") into $sentence38) (if: $sentence38 is "")[ (put: "_____" into $sentence38) ] (stop:)] (live:7s)[(goto: "39")(stop:)] (live:8s)[(transition: "dissolve")[][[39]](stop:)]

(live:1s)[     $sentence31 $sentence32 $sentence33 $sentence34 $sentence35 $sentence36 $sentence37 $sentence38] |typed-speed1>[You know, I've been watching and evaluating your writing.] (live:10s)[(transition: "dissolve")[ [[Oh yes? What did you think?->Begin]]](stop:)]

|typed-speed500>[Written] (live: 6s)[(transition: "dissolve")[by JI Daniels](stop:)] (live:8s)[(goto: "blank page")(stop:)] (live:9s)[(transition: "dissolve")[][[blank page]](stop:)]

(live:2s)[(goto: "First Begining")(stop:)] (live:3s)[(transition: "dissolve")[][[First Begining]](stop:)]

|typed-delay600>[Fine.] {(if: $c1 + $c2 + $c3 + $c4 + $c5 + $c6 + $c10 is 5)[You thought you had more time, didn't you?|typed-speed1-delay500>[I thought I had more time too] (live:4s)[(goto: "end")(stop:)] (live:5s)[(transition: "dissolve")[][[end]](stop:)]] } (else:)[(live:4s)[ [[Try Again]] (stop:)] ]

|typed-speed1>[It really is. Here's what it looks like when you open that first little circle:] <img src="https://alwayscrashing.neocities.org/written/play2.jpg" alt="inside"> [[Oh, wow, that's really good.]]

|typed-speed1>[Thanks
Here's what it looks like if you tear off the glue and lay it out to cover your entire scanner:] <img src="https://alwayscrashing.neocities.org/written/play3.jpg" alt="layered"> [[What glue?]]

{(set: $round to $round + 1) }|typed-speed1-delay800>[You stole this, didn't you?] (if: $name is "Lance")[(live:6s)[It's only stealing if the copyright holders catch you, right Lance Olsen, a writer and professor with whom I was in conversation with when I (the author of this piece, not you, the reader/author of this piece)?[[Well, that's a flippant way to summarize our conversation, Jason]] (stop:)] ](else-if: $name is "Sandra")[ (live:3s)[No Jason, I made this! [[Sorry Sandra Osborn, I guess I'm the one who stole this. It was very pretty, I couldn't help myself. Let's just get you back to the choices.->Try Again]] (stop:)] ](else:)[(live:6s)[ [[Yes, I stole it.]] (stop:)] ]

True, but I hadn't counted on you choosing this exact sequence of options, and I was a bit at a rush on a Saturday evening, after a long hike at Zion. My calves ache, and I recently broke the coding again, so this is, sadly, the best that I can do at the moment. (live: 2s)[(transition: "dissolve")[I wonder if the nature of the second person, inherent in the videogame format, as well as that of interactive fiction (I say as well as the differentiation between the two is complicated at best, with some considering them separate, and others considering them the same. I am personally of the opinion that IF is a subcategory of the videogame, but I can understand arguments otherwise), excuses or necessitates this break in format. Here is the author, Jason, referring directly to the reader, Lance, yet the narrative gimmick of this piece has until-now been that it was the reader interacting with themselves, the typed versus static text representing different aspects of the self, as if the author is static, and the narrator is written, or some variant thereof, but this has been played with throughout the game, with, at times, the typed and the static texts being flipped, destabilizing the already unstable concept of the narrator. Here, it has been completely exploded, but surely that explosion is inherent in the format, because the second person perspective is almost always a first person perspective with a gimmick, and the concept of the narrator is a complicated one. And I haven't even discussed the difficulties of the reader named Lance that is suddenly propelled into a conversation where not only are they no longer the author, but are, furthermore, changed from Lance Lastname into Lance Olsen. Or that Lance Olsen, when he played through this story, never actually typed his own name, and so never even read this conversation.](stop:)] (live: 6s)[(transition: "dissolve")[Anyways, we've wasted enough of our time on this. No one else will find it, I bet, unless they were to dig through the code, or if, for reasons unknown to me, they have decided to play this game as "Lance," as their name, which I would LOVE to know, but I doubt that I will ever find out. Of course, when I first wrote this, it was for a small group of people, none of them named Lance, but you, Lance, you are reading it. You have found it. What does this mean for this piece? The other option does acknowledge, specifically, that I stole Sandra's piece (something I told her I would do as soon as I saw it. How beautiful!). You can't get to it without choosing a different name. That's arbitrary! Thanks for bearing with me here. I'll get you back to the selection screen] [[Onwards->Try Again]](stop:)]

Who from? |typed-speed1-delay1600>[Sandra Osborn. An MFA student at the University of Utah who does beautiful work.] (live: 4s)[(transition: "dissolve")[Are you sorry?] (stop:)] (live: 5s)[(transition: "dissolve")[Hint: the only answer is yes.] (stop:)] (live: 8s)[(transition: "dissolve")[|typed>[ [[Yes. I'm sorry]] ] ] (stop:)]

Good. (live:4s)[(goto: "Try Again")(stop:)] (live:5s)[(transition: "dissolve")[][[Try Again]](stop:)]

(if: $color is "1")[      ](else:)[Please] (if: $broken is "1")[  ](else:)[do] (if: $shape is "1")[        ](else:)[describe] (if: $feeling is "1")[   ](else:)[the] (if: $sound is "1")[    ](else:)[void](if: $taste is "1")[ ](else:)[.] (if: $color is "1")[](else:)[It is a [[color]]] (if: $shape is "1")[](else:)[It is a [[shape]]] (if: $sound is "1")[](else:)[It is a [[sound]]] (if: $feeling is "1")[](else:)[It is a [[feeling]]] (if: $taste is "1")[](else:)[It is a [[taste]]] (if: $broken is "1")[](else:)[It is what is [[broken]]] (if: $feeling is "1")[(live:14s)[(link: "That's enough, go home.")[(open-url: "https://www.alwayscrashing.com/")]]]